OUTRAGEOUS

It’s taken me a few days to come down from my high horse and put all the toys back in the pram but I feel you ought to know the outcome of the RBS VI Nations Board award for Player of the Tournament. In the end, it went to Brian O’Driscoll (BOD). Now, I don’t deny that BOD is quite a good player BUT he does tend to bend the rules slightly (I would never dream of using the word ‘cheat’) and this Tournament was certainly not one of his better performances. However, according to the website: “fans were asked to select their dream team each weekend, and [apparently] over 10,000 votes were cast for O'Driscoll throughout the championship.” Well of course they were! Who wouldn’t want him in their DREAM TEAM, doh, stupid?

Even the Irish Independent said: “O'Driscoll must have been more than a little surprised when he was named Player of the Six Nations tournament. Even at centre, I thought Mirco Bergamasco outshone him for overall impact.”

Had people been asked, more relevantly: ‘Who was your Player of the Tournament this year?’, I doubt VERY MUCH that BOD would have appeared high on anybody’s list. Grrr.

Anyway, VI Nations over now so end of story. News from the Paris front is that Mauro is still injured, Mirco had a good-ish game (he's probably tired, poor lamb) and SF won by a whisker against Castres, so they are now third in the Top 14.

© siterugby.com

ESCAPE TO THE COUNTRY

To continue on the spring theme, this week-end I was lucky enough to be able to head out with my friends into the fresh air of the countryside south-east of Paris. It was lovely to be out walking in the warm sunshine (look: no gloves!), seeing all the spring flowers growing abundantly wild, trees in bud, watching the bees collecting the pollen (see left, do you realise how hard it is to capture a bee in a photo?) and breathing real air instead of the exhaust-clogged stuff I normally breath. On the other hand, there are other dangers: nearly having a finger bitten off by the curious horse snuffling in my bag for an apple and getting almost completely lost because there are no signs showing you where to go. But it more than made up for losing an hour overnight on Saturday.

SAP RISING

Some days ago, on a particularly spring-like day, I was meandering around Paris in the weak sunshine, when I decided to indulge a whim to celebrate the new season by buying a small bunch of flowers. I then went on my merry way, stopping via the newsagent (to buy a rugby newspaper), the baker’s (for my ‘baguette au sesame’), the Luxembourg Gardens (to read said newspaper and nibble on said baguette) before catching the bus homewards. At each of these places, someone stopped to talk to me, usually to make the witty remark about how kind I was to have bought them some flowers, ha ha! So, the moral of the story is: if you want random strangers to talk to you in Paris, buy a nice bunch of flowers. Vive la romance!

GEISHA

To celebrate the arrival of spring, French cinemas have something called ‘le printemps du cinema’ where for three days around the spring equinox, you can go to see any film, at any time, in any cinema for a ridiculously small amount of money (€3.50). So, the other day, off we went to see ‘Memories of a Geisha’. Although I’ve read the book, I wasn’t sure whether I would enjoy its conversion into film but I’m happy to say, visually, it is a spectacularly beautiful film, subtle and graceful and full of symbolism and colour. And it’s a good job the seats are so comfy as, at 2 hours 25 minutes, it’s a long film. How I wish we had 'springtime cinema' and comfy seats in England!

© sony

ANOTHER WORLD

So far, living in the fairly safe XIVth arrondissement, I’ve managed to miss any really close contact with the demonstrations against the CPE. However, tonight as I was wending my way quite tranquillement around the neighbourhood on one of my nocturnal bike rides, I came across quite a different side of Paris from the one I normally see at night. Actually, I heard them before I saw them, a sort of rumbling in the distance, and as I approached the Luxembourg Gardens, I became aware that every pedestrian was heading in the opposite direction to me. Then about 50 riot police, all beating their truncheons rhythmically against their shields, and all lined up along the width of the road, were marching down on me. I tucked into the nearest door front. There were no eggs, no shouting, no throwing of things, but it was still mesmerising to watch.

THINGS TO MAKE YOU SMILE (WELL, ‘ME’ REALLY)

Just when the cold and rain accompanying the ‘official’ start of spring was beginning to get me down, my day brightened considerably when I saw the poster advertising Stade Français’s next home match:

© stade.fr

I’m also cheering myself up over a nice cup of hot chocolate with more wonderful quotes about Mirco:

“Italy had the best overall player in centre Mirco Bergamasco.” Sporting Life

“Italy for me have been the team of the championship.” The Telegraph

“in the unpredictable (!) Mirco Bergamasco, Italy have had the outstanding midfield.” The Scotsman

“Mirco Bergamasco, arguably the player of the championship.” The Times

“The only centre who has really stood out is Italy's Mirco Bergamasco. Since he's switched from wing into midfield the totally committed younger of the Bergamasco brothers has been a revelation.” Western Mail

“But our man of the tournament is Italy's Mirco Bergamasco, a revelation after switching from the back three and at the centre of every Italian effort, scoring three tries in five matches. Yes, the Stade Français star finished on the losing side five times, but it was not for want of trying and he never lost his personal battle with the opposition.” planetrugby

COWS

Well I’ve been busy with the bovine investigation and I can report upon the preliminary findings. In ancient times, cows were obviously revered as sacred animals, then they became sacrificial beasts and ended up being mauled by other, more aggressive, beasts or else hung up as carcasses (see Rembrandt below), then they started grazing peacefully by streams and even cavorting with all sorts of mythological figures. In any case, there are rather a lot of them about in works of art. The problem now is that I find myself caught in a sort of ‘where’s wallie?’ game, constantly on the lookout for cows hidden in meadows or under goddesses. I think I need some help!

VI NATIONS – THE LAST WEEK-END

Well that’s that then, VI Nations over for another year. Personally I’m relieved in a way as I don’t think my blood pressure could have taken much more, either shouting at the telly in frustration (encouragement in Mirco’s case) or else nearly nodding off with boredom. I’ve mixed feelings about yesterday’s matches with a sneaky suspicion that the wrong sides won. Although I'm not sure England should have won either; most of the players were there but unfortunately so were the stupid mistakes. Oh, the dullness of it all.

At least one of the other positives is that I won’t have to listen to the French commentators massacring the names of the players any more: ‘Jammy’ Noon (Jamie Noon), 'Aleex Poffam’ (Alix Popham), ‘Goddon Murfee’ (Geordan Murphy), Scott ‘Loson’ (Scott Lawson) - et j’en passe.

However, ONCE AGAIN Mirco was man of the week-end, he seemed to be playing centre, wing, scrum-half, fly-half, full-back and sometimes even flanker, he was everywhere and he even managed to score a try. He definitely deserves to win Player of the Tournament.

“Mirco Bergamasco: the 'find' of the Six Nations.” planetrugby
“Widely-acknowledged as a top class performer.” skysports
“Mirco Bergamasco, fantastic.” The Observer

Anyway, now we can all return to normal and just hope that Stade Français qualify for the Top 14!

THE CPE

Well I just thought I’d better reassure you all that I haven’t been carted off by the riot police for taking part in the violent demonstrations gripping Paris (and indeed France) at the moment.

As you know, French people will demonstrate at the drop of a hat and so, true to form, the students have been out of the streets and barricading the Sorbonne to voice their opposition to a new youth employment law – the CPE (contrat de premier embauche or first job contract).

In essence, the government used emergency measures to push through this CPE which would allow employers to take on the under-26s for a two-year period and yet retain the right to dismiss them at any time within this period.

Now, I might not grasp all the economic and political nuances of our own legal system but this sounds a lot like our ‘probation period’ to me which I think applies to everyone in Britain, not just to the under-26s. So maybe someone could explain what exactly is their problem?

Anyway, the last games of the VI Nations are about to start so sssshhh …

THE ANALYSIS CONTINUES

Well, three days on and there’s still a lot of raking over the ashes of Sunday’s game. Here are some of the reasons for the defeat:

Our coaches and managers wuz rubbish.
The press wuz nasty to us before the game.
The referee wuz on France’s side.
The controversy about Corry and Dallaglio wuz distracting the players.
Our players wuz tired cuz they’d played for their clubs the week before.
It wuz cold.
We wuz poisoned.

However, I think the real reason is: WE WUZ CRAP.

Never mind, at least I can console myself with even more fantastically positive remarks about boy wonder:

“Another strong performance came from Italy's - (drum roll and brace yourselves because there’s an adjective coming up which I’ve NEVER heard applied to Mirco EVER) - 'Mr Consistency' Mirco Bergamasco, who was a constant thorn in Wales' side at the Millennium Stadium. The Azzurri centre has been one of the stars of the 2006 Six Nations, and his ability to break the gain line provided a constant outlet for his teammates.” skysports

I assure you I haven’t bribed these people to say all these nice things about him! ;p

What’s more, I’ve even been reading that Mirco (or maybe Jason White) should be nominated for Player of the Tournament. Go Mirco again!

JARDIN DES PLANTES

There is a beautiful botanical garden in Paris, not quite Kew, but it has many interesting plants and herbs and it is wonderful to stroll around in the winter sunshine. The herbs are still hibernating at the moment which gives it a feeling like you’re wandering around one of these Parisian cemeteries with all the little name plates identifying the plants. However, you can sense the sap rising and it will be interesting to see their growth throughout the seasons. p.s. being the keen gardener I am, I am surreptitiously gathering leftover seeds, but sssshhh don’t tell anyone.

VI NATIONS – WEEK IV

Well, what can disgusted of Tunbridge Wells say after the France-England game? I don’t even have the excuse of an honourable defeat. We were all over the place, unfortunately without taking the ball with us. With the exception perhaps of Martin Corry, we made too many mistakes and gave away stupid penalties. Even the smacked bottoms at half-time didn’t work. We had our arses well and truly - and deservedly – whooped. Bravo les bleus, even if you too could have played better. Never mind English boys, just pull your socks up for next week against Ireland! Grrr.

Quick, think of nicer things: like the best thing from this week-end, Mirco being man of the match! Aah, that’s better!

MORE MAN OF THE MATCH :)

"Man of the Match Mirco Bergamasco has been a revelation all season, rampaging around the midfield with no real elegance, but with mean effectiveness. He was better than ever, surviving the early thrusts by Wales and emerging to cut holes whenever he touched the ball. Such enthusiasm contrasted with the collective Welsh mien at the end." The Guardian

"But our man of the match is Mirco Bergamasco who underlined his growing stature with a match-winning performance that encompassed startling defence, quick-witted offence and more heart than you'd find in a card shop on Valentine's Day." Planet Rugby

"The day’s outstanding player, centre Mirco Bergamasco, who tormented the Welsh midfield from start to finish and was rightly named man of the match." The Sunday Herald

"Italy had comfortably the two best players on view in Mirco Bergamasco and Sergio Parisse, and their class and sheer enthusiasm for the fight carried Italy through their rough patches to put them in sight of victory.... You could not help but reflect that Italy would have got to the milk and honey had Mirco’s brother, Mauro, been fit to play at openside flanker. His offensive tackling and powerful carrying were badly missed." The Sunday Times

"Mirco Bergamasco has been player of the tournament so far, I reckon." and "Mirco Bergamasco is the best player of the 6N so far." BBC messageboard

"Italy would have left Wales empty-handed had it not been for the outstanding effort of centre Mirco Bergamasco, who was singled out as the game's best player." 6nations.net

"Mirco Bergamasco – He was fantastic, gave the Welsh defence problems all game." zippy on sportnetwork.net

MAN OF THE MATCH!

© getty

Well, another exciting week-end of rugby! I’m jumping for joy because Mirco was Man of the Match against Wales (score: 18-18) and I’m soooo pleased! He was also apparently top carrier and second top tackler of the match. Then SF won against Perpignan at Jean Bouin. And I have a new pink flag to cheer them on! Tomorrow, England play France in Paris. It’s a nervous time for all, and I have to admit to having some anxieties as it could go either way. In any case, it won’t be boring …

Wooo-hooo though, man of the match, how cool is that!? :>

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY

Yesterday was International Women’s Day. Ordinarily, this day passes me by as it’s not much (i.e. not at all) celebrated in England (perhaps my male compatriots don’t think much of their womenfolk). According to the UN, “the day remains an official holiday in Russia and its former republics and also Vietnam and is observed by men giving the women in their lives (colleagues included) flowers and small gifts.” Here in Paris, an enterprising communications company had come up with the bright idea of giving roses to the ladies on the metro! Passing quickly over the issues of equal pay and treatment, I would just like to say that sometimes it is nice being a girl.

¡HOLA!

This week-end, I met Tristan in Madrid and we went to see Goya’s dog (above). There were some dudas e difficultades since neither of us speaks Spanish but it’s amazing what a mixture of English + French + hand gestures can achieve and by the end of the week-end, my Spanish vocabulary had grown by at least twenty words. Madrid is not Paris (duh, obviously) so I wouldn’t want to live there but it’s got great architecture and nightlife and I’d quite like to go back one day to see ‘la corrida’. However, next stop on the Grand Tour: Rome for the Modigliani exhibition.

p.s. as might be blatantly apparent, I missed the SF-Biarritz match at the Stade de France this week-end but thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I was able to watch it live! Ah, culture, art, good company, cerveza, rugby: what a great week-end!

PRINUNSEEASHUN

© daily drew drawings

One thing that’s funny about French pronunciation is that they seem to drop the ‘h’ when they should pronounce it and put one in when they shouldn’t. Thus, I often hear this:

’Ello, ’ow are you? I ham good. :)

And, it takes a great strength of will to stop myself giggling when I hear them reciting the vowels! Repeat after me: ‘hay, hee, hi, ho, hou’. Oh, forgive me, for I am a wicked English teacher!

postscript: It has come to my attention that there has been a slight criticism regarding my beginning of a sentence with a conjunction. To this didactic armchair grammarian, I would point out that, as an English teacher, I can do what I like in the furtherance of English language evolution and, therefore, my 'And', although closely linked to the previous clause was, in fact, a premeditated afterthought.