VENICE

Well, here I am recovering from an exciting week-end spent in Venice during which time I’ve observed all sorts of things:

a) Venice is beautiful but crumbling.

b) Italians are never quiet, they simply cannot stop talking. Even when they’re alone, they’re either talking on their mobile ’phones or trying to strike up conversations with the person nearest to them. I bet they even talk in their sleep.

c) My concept of personal space is vastly different from an Italian’s.

d) Italian men see nothing wrong with wearing bright orange trousers with stripey green, white and orange jumpers in public.

e) I don’t speak Italian and so I could play at being ‘French me’ and ‘English me’. On the whole, I think the ‘French me’ was more successful!

f) Because I don’t speak Italian, it follows therefore that I desperately need an Italian teacher. Pfff, where’s Mirco when you need him!

g) If I lived in Italy, ice cream could well become my staple food.

h) Italian officials are rather flirty. The passport control man even winked at me. This would never happen at British passport control.

i) Italian sheep have longer bodies.

j) I’ve returned to find Paris covered in cherry blossom and Stade Français first (not second) in the Top 14 table!